The hassle of hugging: If I must, I do it right.

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Hugging. I’m not a natural hugger. I can count the number of times my mom hugged me on one hand. She’s not a natural hugger either.

My hugging hang-up haunted me for years. When older women hugged me, I experienced profound discomfort. I’m talking sweaty fear and blushing. And by the time I’d become a passable hugger, someone invented the side hug, and it was all the rage.

Side hugs are for chumps

I HATE side hugs. I’ve worked hard to develop my rudimentary hugging skills, and here comes this silly-safe side-hug hogwash. Perhaps it was created as an anti-predation measure for inappropriate touchers, but it’s a slap in the face to us non-pervs. Sadly, this pseudo hug has caught on like wildfire.

If a woman offers me a side hug, I say “No, thanks. It’s the real thing or nothing for me.” Or, “I’m good, thank you. I’m a married man. You know, because we men think hugs are so erotic.”

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5 Replies to “The hassle of hugging: If I must, I do it right.”

  1. The strangest thing about the hug for me is WHETHER to hug. If it’s”hugs for everyone” and then I am left out…hmm, what does that mean?? Am I unworthy or something? I wonder UberD, what about the BroHug phenomenon? Handshake with right hand then hug with the left. There is something to ponder too.

    1. Yes! Great point. The question is not always simply how but whether. For nominal huggers like us, whether can be more excruciating. The bro-hug, henceforth brug, brings with it the added element of brotherly love, which is always good to express. Coupling the handshake, which originally signaled an absence of weapons (I come in peace and am weaponless.) with the hug is a great way to show affection while preserving one’s masculinity. What do you think, brah?

  2. Um..I meant long live the brug. Although the brig has its value in society too.

    Let us do away with auto correct as well

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